pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
