planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
