i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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