i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
