we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
