hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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