she was so not down for the gang bang
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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