so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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