put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
