Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
