so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
