someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
