He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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