i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
