just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
