..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
