but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize