Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
