I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
