i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
