your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
