And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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