White coat. Heels.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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