I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Holy shit dude........stairs
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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