I'm drive I can fine osifer
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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