Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
