if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you traded sex for a burrito?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
