just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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