I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
