how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
