Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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