i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
