yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize
