I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
