I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize