you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
