is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
