Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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