it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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