i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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