We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
