i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize