btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Randomize
