the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize