I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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