And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
