you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
