i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i was born a porn star she said
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
