I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
