my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize