oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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