Screwed.edu
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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