p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
