yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We talked him into tasing himself.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize