Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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