Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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