it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
