Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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