Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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