you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize