I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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