entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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