trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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