i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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