four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
