Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
