I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
