i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
