I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
