Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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